While most of us focus on New Year's resolutions to lose weight or save money, Dr. Laura Berman thinks it's just as important to make resolutions regarding your relationship and sex life. She shares 11 sexy yet completely doable tips to work into your relationship in 2013:
1. I resolve to...Just do it.
Make a resolution to stay open to the promise of sex even if you aren't immediately in the mood. Kiss your partner, enjoy his touches, and let your mind delve into fantasy. While you should never have sex if you don't want to, by staying open to sex and tuning into the pleasure of being touched and kissed, you will likely find that your body responds and that you are in the mood after all.
2. I resolve to...Tell my partner my fantasies.
Whether you jot down your fantasies on a slip of paper and keep them in a 'fantasy box' in the bedroom, or you just come right and tell your partner your naughty desires, sharing fantasies is a key part of keeping your relationship erotic and exciting.
3. I resolve to...Set a weekly date night in stone.
Keep date night holy in your house, even if it means that you have to reserve the babysitter a month in advance. Nothing is more important than quality time together.
4. I resolve to...Take better care of myself.
When you don't take care of yourself, you neither look nor feel your best. Physical health and sexual health go hand-in-hand, so make an effort to get active and eat right.
5. I resolve to...Throw out the "shoulds."
The word "should" can be incredibly damaging to a relationship, especially because it's generally used negatively and based on generally erroneous assumptions (i.e. "He should know why I am angry with him without being told"). Throw out the should's and replace them with clear and effective communication.
6. I resolve to...Kiss my partner for 10 seconds each day.
Kissing can fall by the wayside in a long term relationship, but it's a crucial part of your intimacy and your sexual connection. Get back in the habit of kissing by making sure to kiss your partner for at least 10 seconds each day (in other words, a routine peck will not suffice!).
7. I resolve to...Share 3 appreciations with my partner a day.
Appreciations are a wonderful way to let your partner know what you love, adore, and yes, appreciate about him. Give each other appreciations on a daily basis and you will always feel valued and loved.
8. I resolve to...Let my partner do things his/her way.
No more nagging or henpecking because he didn't load the dishwasher the way you like or because she forgot to turn off the garage light again. Small issues like this are simply not worth losing sleep (or sex!) over.
9. I resolve to...Practice gratitude.
Keep a gratitude and write down things that you are grateful for everyday, whether it's your partner's amazing cooking skills or how warm and comfortable you feel in his arms at the end of a long day. Gratitude is a habit, and it's a wonderful one to get into!
10. I resolve to...Try one new sex position a month.
Variety is the spice of the life. Check out the Kamasutra or research fun new positions online, then put one new position into action every month. You might discover a new favorite?or two or three or more!
11. I resolve to...Self-stimulate more.
Self-stimulation is normal, healthy, and a wonderful way to get in touch with your sexual response and your sexual fantasies. It's also great for your circulation. Try self-stimulating with your partner for a truly erotic (and informative!) experience.
Dr. Laura Berman, PhD, is the leading expert on love, sex and relationships. For years she has been sharing her wisdom on radio and television, as well as in her books and columns, addressing every sex and relationship issue you can imagine. As a sex educator, researcher, and therapist for more than 20 years, there is nothing she hasn't heard! She has helped countless women, men and couples build stronger relationships, improve their sex lives, and achieve a heightened level of intimacy.
For more information, visit www.drlauraberman.com/sex-advice.