"My mom loved parades. She loved them. I don't remember a Fourth of July we didn't go. She was like, 'Are we gonna walk? Are we gonna go?' For the rest of my life, this weekend is going to look very different. Our world has become quiet in a way that is very difficult."
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It was a world her dad, Bruce Sundheim, had so beautiful stitched together with Jacki Sundheim, his wife of 32 years.
"Half your life, you're with somebody. All of the plans you've got in mind in terms of where you're going, what you're doing. All of those conversations, steps you took, with one gunshot, just removed, vaporized," Bruce said.
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Before the world came to know 63-year-old Jacki as one of seven people killed during the Highland Park parade mass shooting, to so many in her hometown, she was a light touching all of those around her.
"She was so good with people, kind, had a way of making you feel very comfortable," Leah said.
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Jackie grew up in Highland Park. A life-long member of North Shore Congregation Israel, she became a preschool teacher there. She later became an events coordinator, helping families mark special milestones.
"Because she started as preschool teacher, she had them in her 3-year-old groups, gave them dates for their bat mitzvah, so she got to see them throughout. She knew everyone," Leah said.
Last July 4, Jacki was sitting at her usual spot in downtown Highland Park with her sister. A memorial tree now bears her name. Bruce was working from home when chaos ensued.
"That's where I was when Jacki's sister finally reached me," Bruce said. "I was rushing to downtown. Police had blocked the street off. That was some agonizing hours. Agonizing."
Bruce and Leah have only spoken a few times publicly about their loss, and now, about learning once again to find life's joy, even through the tears.
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"I definitely have had a lot of hills and valleys. Feels like a roller coaster. Some days, it feels like the fog is lifting," Leah said. "And then, there's other days. That hole that she left is a chasm, and it's hard to get up, and it is hard to continue."
"For me, as we approach the anniversary, it's been more and more difficult, more and more emotional," Bruce said. "Everything is nothing but question marks."
"She had so much life left, so many projects that were not completed. Now, we have to live in that world of broken and unfinished pieces," Leah said. "It's just hard, still hard."