Happy Birthday, Mr. President! Gifts for Obama

August 3, 2011 (CHICAGO)

At Army Navy Surplus USA on North Lincoln, gift givers can find items that won't be duplicated by even the richest of Obama's donors. And, remember, President Obama is heading into a more than a yearlong battle before the election.

"This is an entrenching tool which is used by military personnel. It's for digging trenches which the president might find useful in the next fifteen months to dig his way out of a mess ... or dig his way into a mess," Harold Hirsch, Army Navy Surplus USA, said.

At Army Navy Surplus USA, 3100 N. Lincoln, gift givers can pick out some presidential camouflage for those days Obama would like to be invisible. To forget the debt mess, how about a mess kit? Or maybe a compass so Obama doesn't get lost running those long distances from the far left and far right. And ... Have you noticed how gray the president is getting?

"We have some nice military face paint that comes in black and brown and green ... and he can just apply a little to his hair color and get it back to the natural black it was in 2008," Robert Finstein, said. "It washes out with soap and water. We hope, we hope."

Every GI carries a shelter half into combat. It's half a tent. Another GI carries the other half. Put together, it's a full tent. Perhaps one half for Obama -- and the other for John Boehner.

There's also plenty of clothing to choose from at the store—footgear for stomping around Iowa and warm clothes for the winter. "We got earmuffs. Just put them on like this. It keeps his ears warm ... keeps 'em in. . . closer to his head," Bob Issel, Army Navy Surplus USA, said.

But would be the best gift for a president up for reelection? Probably a campaign war chest. An old footlocker should do the job.

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