With all the enthusiasm of a man signing a predatory loan on a 1986 Pontiac Fiero, Chicago Bears general manager Ryan Pace let the world know that Jay Cutler is his quarterback.
"Yes, we made that decision," Pace told reporters on Wednesday at Halas Hall. "Like I said before, we went through a process of thoroughly evaluating the roster. We're moving forward with Jay Cutler as our starting quarterback.
"We've spent time with him on a personal basis. It's just getting to know him as a person, like I said initially. Just being through with all of that, that helped us come to this conclusion."
Decision. Moving forward. Conclusion.
Oh, Ryan Pace, stop with all that sweet talk.
Pace was more excited to welcome newly signed outside linebacker Pernell McPhee to his first Bears roster. Word already had leaked that Cutler was staying with the Bears. While the team is insistent it didn't try to move him, it wouldn't have made sense for Pace not to ask around.
But what general manager would trade for Cutler after his star-crossed career, even with the weak talent pool? He is and probably will always be known as the quarterback good enough to get you fired.
So, here's the good news. Expectations are so low for Cutler, they can only go up. Seriously, that's good news for Cutler, the Bears, their fans, you name it.
High expectations and outsize talent estimations haven't worked out for No. 6. Maybe he'll finally get comfortable and put together a couple of good seasons before he leaves Chicago.
Maybe. But no one's counting on anything.
If you thought Pace was impassioned in formally announcing that the veteran quarterback he already had under contract and taking up substantial salary cap room was staying on the roster, you should check out Bears coach John Fox's mug in the video. He almost blinked once or twice.
So, how does Fox feel about being Cutler's latest coach?
"Obviously good," Fox said to reporters. "We made the commitment. Time will tell for all of us. We haven't even been on the grass yet. I've watched Jay compete in the past. We gained a lot of information moving forward.
"I think there's a talent level there that obviously we feel good enough to explore. Like all our players, they're going to get a chance to compete and see how we perform. That's the exciting part of all of this."
Commitment. Time will tell. A talent level there.
If Pace and Fox took over, say, the Green Bay Packers, do you think they would wait on judging Aaron Rodgers until they got to know him? Uh, no.
But that's the state of Cutler today. He's not the guy you pine over; he's the one you settle for. Hey, at least he's rich.
Given the dearth of quarterbacks on the market and in the draft, keeping Cutler around was the safe decision. There's a reason he kept getting new money. Every athletic kid in America wants to be a quarterback, but only two handfuls are really good at it in the highest level.
I would have been fine with Cutler and the Bears going their separate ways and the quarterback joining wide receiver Brandon Marshall on the list of ex-Bears, even if meant a lost season. This relationship has been mostly great for Cutler -- he got paid twice, got married, started a family -- but one playoff appearance in six seasons isn't quite what we expected when Jerry Angelo traded for him.
Two fired head coaches later, Cutler has to prove himself.
"Jay is our quarterback, and that's what we're doing, that's what we're looking forward to and I'd just like to keep it at that," Pace said about trade speculation.
Cutler wasn't very good last year, but the timing of then Bears coach Marc Trestman's benching was a joke. You can't deny that Cutler, who was actually quite insightful in his media dealings last year, handled it with professionalism.
But the truth is, Cutler did regress from Trestman's first year, and all the old bugaboos, including poor mechanics and bad decision-making, returned. He'll be 32 in April. The idea of Cutler having a true, lasting breakthrough is basically done.
But all the Bears need from him now is to be competent. I think Cutler can do that. Seriously.
Cutler isn't Peyton Manning, but Fox went to the playoffs with Tim Tebow as his quarterback.
"I think from a physical standpoint, he has the skill set," Fox said. "From a mental standpoint, he has that kind of [football intelligence]. Then, can we get a performance level better as a football team? Not just Jay? Time will tell. I think he's got those capabilities, and we get a chance to march forward."
Fox praised Cutler's work ethic, or what he believes it to be, and the quarterback already is working on a new playbook with offensive coordinator Adam Gase, who got to Denver just as Cutler left. And as I wrote three years ago, Cutler has been trying to land new quarterbacks coach Dowell Loggains for a while now.
Gase and Loggains won't be afraid to challenge Cutler, and perhaps after hitting his nadir -- both with Trestman and the lukewarm response from his new bosses -- Cutler will be ready to forget the past and focus on the present.
Cutler doesn't have to wear the burden of being a franchise quarterback anymore. He's simply this franchise's quarterback. For now anyway.