Not getting enough rest? Why some couples are choosing to get a 'sleep divorce'

ByDenise Dador KABC logo
Tuesday, December 5, 2023
Not getting enough rest? Experts say consider a 'sleep divorce'
A recent study found that more than a third of Americans opt for something some called a "sleep divorce" - which means they sleep separately from their partner at night.

A recent study found that more than a third of Americans opt for something some called a "sleep divorce" - which means they sleep separately from their partner at night.

So what should you know if this describes you?

Standard wedding vows often include the phrase "until death do us part," but experts say many couples are opting for separate beds, maybe even separate bedrooms.

"I hear it from more and more people that it's more comfortable for whatever reason to not share their beds together," said Alicia Roth, PhD, with the Cleveland Clinic.

Roth specializes in behavioral sleep medicine. She said one way to save a marriage may be to get a "sleep divorce."

"Although that's kind of a nice catchy name, I don't always like to call it a 'sleep divorce' because it's not necessarily a negative thing," she said.

She says some might assume something must be wrong with a couple's relationship if they sleep separately. But, it could be for health reasons.

"If you are sleep deprived for any reason, if you're not getting enough sleep, your mental health is going to suffer, your physical health is going to suffer," Roth said.

Couples may choose a "sleep divorce" if they could have different work schedules, or perhaps one of them snores and it's disruptive to the other.

Another possibility? One person might enjoy staying up late while their partner prefers to go to bed earlier.

Roth said no one should feel bad or guilty about needing to sleep in a separate bed because getting enough sleep is important for our health.

"It's going to be that much harder to do things during the day, and I think it causes some resentment in relationships when one person is a good sleeper but they're disrupting the other person's sleep," she said.

And if snoring is a big reason why you and your partner sleep in separate beds, it's probably worth consulting with a doctor.

Snoring could be a sign of sleep apnea which is when a person repeatedly starts and stops breathing while asleep.