'Bachelorette' Jenn frustratingly confronts Sam as he tries to 'keep the main thing, the main thing'
NEW YORK -- This week our "Bachelorette" and her final seven men are in Seattle. Jenn had some big decisions to make because the four roses she gave out represent hometown dates. Because it's such a big decision, former "Bachelorette" Charity met up with Jenn to listen to how things are going and offer some advice. Jenn told Charity that she still has some questions about Sam, she laughs a lot with Jeremy but she's not sure if there's more. Jenn feels Marcus is holding back from her. Jenn said she only wants to give roses to the men with whom she feels confident. "I'm more excited than I am nervous," she said.
Gina: I like that Jenn said she was more excited than nervous, especially after last week's drama. It was nice to see her so ready to move forward! Also, Charity's approach was so interesting to me, and honestly, quite logical. She told Jenn she had everyone's names written down and that every week, she would write down a quality they showed her or something that stood out. It seemed like a great way to keep everything in order and an easy way to look back on things if she ever had questions about a guy.
Listen to "Playing the Field" for a recap of "The Bachelorette" episode 6
A date card arrived and it was actually a box! The card read, "Marcus, let's find love in Emerald City." Inside the box was a letterman jacket. He's thrilled while Jeremy is a bit bummed because he hasn't had a one-on-one date yet. Sam said he was looking forward to bringing Jenn to meet his parents and Devin thought he was jumping the gun with those statements and definitely doesn't think Sam is right for Jenn.
Marcus' One-on-One Date
Marcus met up with Jenn wearing the green letterman jacket and a green trolley car showed up with Jesse Palmer on board! They were going to celebrate the new movie "Wicked." The musical was made famous on Broadway and it's incredible! Not sure if he's a Broadway guy, but this seems like it's going to be a great date.
Gina: Jesse was INTO it and I love that for him.
Jesse pulled back the curtain on a big street and there was a yellow brick road with Kelsey and Daisy from Joey's season of "The Bachelor." They were friends with Jenn, and of course, Kelsey and Joey are engaged. Daisy said that she and Kelsey found an unexpected friendship just like the characters in "Wicked."
Along the yellow brick road, Marcus and Jenn had to pick between two boxes for little challenges. They ate spicy peppers, then kissed! Next, they screamed their feelings at the top of their lungs. "I like Jenn," Marcus screamed. Umm, sir, drop an L bomb already will you? They jumped into a pile of pillows and kissed and Jenn was feeling the passion! In the end, they picked between fast or slow. Marcus said slow, and Jenn said fast. It was the first time they didn't agree. Marcus said that his decisions are permanent. "I'm a fast girl," Jenn said. Marcus said he'd try to keep up. Jenn rang a bell in that box and Kelsey and Jenn took them on a bike ride to Charity and they shared their proudest moments of their lives with each other and some photos. Marcus said that Jenn would meet his sister who he misses a lot. He talks to her every day and it was a photo of his graduation from basic training of the two of them. There was a TV waiting and his sister had left him a message! Jenn had a heartfelt letter from her mom waiting for her. It was so sweet.
Gina: Those messages were so sweet and I think they were both equally touched by hearing from their family members. But can we go back to seeing them jump into the pile of pillows? It was a cute moment for them and I like that they both had fun with it.
Trista Sutter, the original "Bachelorette," was waiting for them at the end of the yellow brick road. They went to a waiting hot air balloon. Another activity with heights! The balloon remained tethered to the ground due to the high winds, and they did some kissing! Jenn felt like it was a perfect date! She is a bit worried she's feeling more than he is though.
"Spencer, Jonathon, Sam, Devin, and Grant, I want a love that listens," the date card read. Jeremy was elated while Grant was upset. Devin was excited for the date and said, "Let's go." He knows he's a good listener.
Marcus' Evening Portion of His One-on-One Date
They went to the Mariner's ballfield for a private dinner on home plate! Jenn talked about letting her walls down and how hard it was, but she felt that Marcus made her comfortable enough to do that. She said that she wanted him to feel like that too with her. Marcus said that he was glad that she could see that he was trying. Marcus said the comment that her mom made about doing the best she could for her struck a chord with him because he doesn't come from a perfect family either. Marcus said that his sister when they were young, they were born into a rough situation. Their parents couldn't really care for them, unstable, and unfit. They took them to daycare one day and never came back for them. He said he took on the role of looking after his sister, and they lived with a series of foster families. He said they would get their hopes up about getting a new mom and dad and then the people would never pick them. He said it left him feeling like there was something wrong with him. Jenn whispered, "There's nothing wrong with you." She was really moved by his revelation and now she understands why he is so guarded. Marcus said that there's a big canyon between like and love and he wants to fall into the canyon of love. "I see you and I want you to know how happy I am that you are here," Jenn said. She picked up the date rose, walked him over to a balcony, offered him the rose, and he accepted. Then they kissed! On the big screen, they were told to "look to the western skies" just like in "Wicked" and then a bunch of fireworks went off!
Gina: Hearing his backstory makes you understand even more why he is a so-called slow burn. Who could blame him for having trust issues when the people he was supposed to be able to count on as a child abandoned him? Add that to nearly losing his life in combat and there are so many reasons for Marcus to be more reserved and cautious with his feelings. I'm glad that Jenn sees the potential in him and told him he is worthy. Also, a couple of notes: I didn't take Marcus for a fireworks guy but I love that. AND, I am pretty sure Jenn was wearing sneakers with her gown, which... I don't blame her for! All those steps at that stadium called for sneakers and not heels!!
Group Date
Jenn went to iHeart radio to meet the hosts of "Love on the Air" where Jason and Molly Mesnick were waiting for them. They were on that radio show 15 years ago! The guys met up with Jenn there and she told them about how on night one Sam was the only guy she kissed. She said she feels safe with Sam too! She feels a very strong connection to him. Jenn is still struggling with the red flags and the emotional connection. Right off the bat said he wanted to keep the main thing, the main thing. Did you miss that phrase? I'm sure it won't be the last time we hear it. They did a word association thing, and when they said "Fantasy Suite" to Sam, he responded with "Aggressive." Everyone was like, um, what?! When asked how he felt about Jenn, "Fire, and just like strong passion," Sam said. He added that he was falling in love with her. Devin thinks that Sam talks forever but says nothing. Jonathon said the same thing and also noticed that Jenn seemed not into his answer at all. "I don't feel like his answers make sense to me," Jenn said. She found his answer to be unauthentic.
The radio hosts asked Sam to stay to get to know Jenn better and have the rest of the guys leave. The men watched the date on a screen in the other room. Every time he was asked about her, he would twist the answer to talk about himself. He even said he wanted to meet Daisy and Maria and didn't think that she would be the right fit for him initially. "I trust the process and I feel like I'm meant to be here," Sam said. Plain and simple, it's painful to hear these two try to hold a conversation. He tried to save himself by saying that his love language is physical touch, and then just started making out with her. Jenn even put a stop to it, she was like that's enough.
Gina: Anyone who's been following along knows that I am not a Sam fan, so yeah, I have thoughts about this guy's antics. First, I was just as shocked as everyone in that room when Sam responded "aggressive" to the rapid-fire question about the Fantasy Suite. I mean, you couldn't say something like "alone time" or "love" or ANYTHING ELSE but aggressive? Goodness. Bless Jenn because she tried. She really wanted to give him a chance to say anything to save himself but he just could not get out of his own way. He said she was stunning but he knows that fades. Oh, really? So I guess he understands that his looks will fade too, so he'll have to have something else to add to a relationship. Ahem. Then when she asked what he liked about her and he said that she was selfless, he couldn't say why he felt that way. He then brought up their connection being "hot" and said that she knows his love language is physical touch and then grabs her and kisses her. It felt to me like that was his way to try and distract her from his inability to answer a single question. He knows she's attracted to him so that's his only trick and it's a way for him to be in control of the situation. It had me seething. No, sir. Just no.
Group Date Evening
Grant talked to Jenn about how much he respects her and how he could see himself being with her for the rest of his life. "I've already chosen you," he said. Jenn teared up! "I am falling in love with you," Grant said. They kissed, but she doesn't seem 100%.
Jonathon said that his feelings for her have skyrocketed. Jenn said it was exactly what she needed to hear and she likes how he challenges her.
Spencer said it was the best group date day and Jenn told him that she sees how hard he tries. They kissed and Jenn loved feeling seen by him.
Gina: Jenn saying she sees how hard he tries does not bode well for our guy.
Jenn lit up when she saw Devin. Did you see the twinkle in her eyes? Devin said that he only wants to bring a girl home to his mother who makes him proud and could make his mom proud and he said that she does both of those things. Jenn said that she feels like Devin just gets her. "I'm falling for you as well," Jenn said. Wow! Devin is on cloud nine! "I have a strong sense of who you are in such a short amount of time," he said.
Gina: I do believe that's the first time we've heard her say that she is falling for someone. Makes sense that it's Devin. These two have an undeniable pull toward each other.
Devin asked Sam if he felt like Jenn's talk about getting to know people better and not really accomplishing that might be about him. Sam said he just thought Jenn wanted to let all of them know how seriously she was taking everything. He's clueless.
Gina: He really does put on a good front for the guys. He's gotta be that alpha dog. You can't see me right now, but I am rolling my eyes!
Sam and Jenn then had some time to talk. She said that she felt like Sam wasn't seeing and understanding her all day. She said she needs answers and clarity on how he feels. Sam said that he didn't have emotional support (as he cleared his throat a thousand times) and he wasn't sure if it was her or not really. "But, why me?" Jenn asked him. Sam continued to choke and apologized, "Because I love you." Jenn said, "Sam." He said that he loves her and that it's scary to him. "Where the hell is this coming from?" Jenn said in an interview. She was so confused and felt like it wasn't a real feeling from him. "I feel like we don't truly know each other," Jenn said.
Jenn said she had a lot to think about and would not be giving out a group date rose that evening.
Gina: The throat clearing was either nerves or his stalling tactic to try and get his words right, which clearly did not work. At the very beginning, it looked like he was holding out his hand and expected her to grab it but when she didn't, he switched it quickly. He's not so good at reading cues, or giving answers to pointed questions. But the thing that got to me was this moment: she asked, "Why me?" and he said, "I love you." She looked at him and said "Sam..." and he said "STOP." I'm sorry, what?? Do not tell her to stop. He can't speak but he doesn't want her to speak? Give me a break!! He also keeps bringing up her wanting a "ferocious love" and my guess is that he thinks that means passion only so he thinks he has it in the bag because the passion is really all he has to offer. But alas, not so much.
One-on-One Date with Jeremy
Jenn met Jeremy at the famous Pike's Place Farmer's Market. She was so excited to see him! "You're supposed to run and jump," Jeremy said. Ha, he's definitely seen this show a time or two! They held hands as they watched a fish-catching demonstration, looked at flowers, and then Jeremy asked if he could make her a bouquet. How sweet! He arranged a beautiful bouquet and saved a little flower for her hair. It was so cute. Jenn loved it.
Gina: What's even cuter? She calls him Jer Bear! I also noticed how excited she was to see him and vice versa.
She must have passed the flowers off to a producer because then they were gone. They played a game that said they had uncontrollable chemistry, they opened an egg from a psychic chicken that said lives cannot be built by laughs alone. A palm reader told them that they had a lot of good things going on. The psychic talked about bringing her flowers and he just made her a bouquet. She knew a lot about Jeremy! It was really cool!
Then Jenn took Jeremy to an alley full of gum and he touched it! They went back to try catching some fish for themselves. Jeremy seems like a lot of fun, he seems game for anything! I love their relationship! I think I need to really start rooting for this guy!
At lunch, Jenn told Jeremy about her group date and the frustration she went through. He asked if she was feeling better, and she said she was. Jeremy said he feels strongly about where they are. Jeremy said that they had a beautiful day.
Gina: I'm with you, Jen. I really like him, and, by the way, he has some slick breakdancing moves!
Jeremy's Dinner Portion of His One-on-One Date
It's hilarious, anytime Jenn takes him somewhere he asks, "Is this where you kill me?" I love their little jokes! They hoped to further their relationship at the Chihuly Garden and Glass. Jenn said that she feels that their relationship is a lot of laughs but she wanted to keep the evening serious. Jeremy said that she makes him comfortable, smile, and laugh and he just loves spending time with her. He said he wants someone as caring as his mom. Jenn's eyes lit up when he compared her to his mother. It was incredibly sweet.
Gina: The "is this where you kill me" joke made me laugh every time. He's got this dry sense of humor that fits so well with her personality.
He talked about how he's Jewish and that he hopes that his children can share in his Jewish identity, but he doesn't expect Jenn to convert. He asked her if she would be open to it and Jenn said that she takes part in Shabbat dinner with her friends. Jenn said she did not want to give up her Buddhist holidays and wanted her mom to be able to share those things with their future children. Jeremy said that he would love to blend their religions and share both with any future family they might have. Aw!
Jenn thought they made leaps and bounds on this date and she really likes Jeremy! She gave him the date rose. She's going to meet Jeremy's family! "What we have is what I've been looking for and what I know that I deserve," Jenn said.
Gina: We know that Jenn's culture and traditions mean a lot to her, so it was really nice to see them talk about it so openly and have both of them be so understanding about the other's beliefs. I also loved how they said having Jewish Buddhists could be fun!
Jenn Talks to Sam
Jenn said she felt like she would 100% meet Sam's family, but now she really doesn't know. She's confused and wants to try to get some answers from him. She heads to the guys' hotel suite and demands to talk to Sam. The guys were so excited to see Jenn and were shocked she went straight to see Sam. She asked him if he could chat. She completely caught him off guard as he was getting ready for the cocktail party and he said that he felt, "Terrified."
Quick note: Remember seeing Jenn knock on someone's door then open it in the very beginning of the first episode as a teaser for what was to come? Well, this is that scene!
He apologized for trying to protect his feelings but said that he loved her. Sam said, "I meant to say it." Jenn asked him what love meant to him, and he kind of gave a generic answer. "You're saying all the right things but it's hard for me to believe you," Jenn said. Sam admitted that putting his feelings into words was not his strong suit. That's an understatement. Sam tried to say that it would make more sense when she saw him with his friends and family, but Jenn still couldn't figure out if she should even take that step. "What do you see in me?" Jenn asked. "There's other people out there with the same characteristics as you," Sam said. But then tried to tell the story of things that he felt when he saw her. I felt like I was watching a boy take a test he didn't study for. Then, Sam just started professing that he loved her again. Jenn said that you have to know someone to love someone.
Gina: He had me seething after he said that stuff about having other people with the same characteristics in front of him. Well, then why did you come on the show, bro? And then when he said he felt like she was waiting for answers with words? Um, YEAH!! You can't kiss your way to the final rose. I don't think anyone has ever challenged Sam when it comes to expressing his feelings. I also think he has always been the focus of his relationships and the girl just fades into the background. Just my opinion, but his behavior is giving narcissist.
Jenn walked out to think about what she should do and talk to a producer. She said she wasn't getting any answers and she was getting annoyed. The guys talked it over and could tell Jenn really cared about Sam and was struggling, Grant hit the nail on the head and was like, she wouldn't be there fighting with him if she didn't feel something still. Jenn said that she felt they had a disconnect. "Everything I said to you, you didn't hear," Sam said. Then, Jenn said that she's been through relationships like this one before and she's done with it. She hugged him and walked out.
Sam packed his bag and said that he felt frustrated. He didn't think that he was going to go home. "The energy that she brought was very dull," Sam said. What. Is he serious? I guess he's off to keep the main thing the main thing. "That is not what love is," Jenn said. She was mad that she got it wrong. "Putting someone else first, that's what love is," she added.
Gina: The main thing to Sam is apparently... Sam. Saying she is dull when he can't speak about his feelings? That's really rich. Bye, Sam. I won't miss you. Neither will Jenn!
Rose Ceremony
1) Marcus (one-on-one date)
2) Jeremy (one-on-one date)
3) Devin
4) Jonathon
That meant two of my favorites, Grant and Spencer, two levelheaded reasonable guys, were sent home. Grant said he felt empty. He really knew it just wasn't enough. Let's put him in contention to be the next Bachelor, I'm totally serious. Spencer was upset that he was so close to an engagement and it didn't work out. He called his momma and cried to her that he was getting sent home. He just wishes he was Jenn's person. Aww!
Gina: These two are so sweet. I hope they are at Men Tell All and come talk to the press!
Don't worry - we'll actually be seeing a lot more of Grant as he was just named your next "Bachelor!"
READ MORE ON GRANT HERE
Next Week
It's hometown dates! Jenn travels to meet the families of her final four! There are a lot of serious conversations and it looks like a very tense rose ceremony!
Gina: Jeremy saying "It's a good night for some heartbreak" was a nice little tease. I can't wait to see what hometowns bring!!
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